6 Signs Your Relationship May Need Marriage Counseling
There are often common signs you need marriage counseling. Have you found yourself questioning if couples therapy is something you and your partner need? Many couples (married or not) go through this at some point in their relationship. Too often people quickly shy away from the idea because of feelings of shame as well as just not having the right information about what it truly means to be in therapy. Here are a few common signs that couples therapy may be a good fit for you and your partner.
#1 – You find yourselves having the same argument over and over.
When you and your partner keep coming back to the same argument it’s often a sign of a lack of understanding and/or unwillingness to compromise. It can also indicate unresolved emotional hurt and resentment that needs to be addressed. This cycle can be extremely painful and frustrating for couples. Often having an unbiased third party allows the couple to put this in perspective.
#2 – There has been a trauma in the relationship (infidelity, loss, etc.).
In this case, there needs to be an increase in empathy and rebuilding of trust. There is also sometimes a need to reevaluate boundaries within the relationship.
#3 – Issues with communication: lack of talking, negative talk or fear to talk.
I know you’ve heard it before – communication is everything! And while it may not be everything, it certainly is a vital part of any relationship. Communication breakdown has a serious impact on the couples ability to function in the relationship. If you and your partner are finding it increasingly difficult to speak to each other, couples therapy would be a great help. By using specific techniques your therapist can set you and your partner up for success with communication.
#4 – Challenges with intimacy or using affection as currency.
There are many emotional and physical factors that can get in the way of intimacy. Lack of trust, communication difficulties, children, physical changes to the body (menopause, impotence, etc.), and withholding sex as punishment. When any of these or other challenges present themselves it’s helpful to talk to a therapist. Some couples may feel embarrassed or have shame around the topic of sex however it’s a very common issues couples face. Not discussing the topic only enhances the problem!
#5 – Lack of trust with finances.
If you and your partner have different views on how to manage finances and you can’t come to some compromise, therapy will likely be helpful. Your different approaches to managing finances can create larger issues such as hiding money or spending, and therefore mistrust in each other.
#6 – You live as roommates.
You and your partner do not have to have all of the same hobbies and interests however, it is important that you do have shared experiences together and feel engaged with one another. If you find yourselves “living as roommates,” meaning you basically don’t engage with each other at home and feel disconnected, you stay out of each other’s way and don’t talk much, couples therapy will be a good way to address why this has begun and to start finding ways to reconnect with each other.
Marriage Counseling Helps Build Happy Relationships
Relationship or marriage therapy is not about picking apart the couple to find flaws. It is meant to be a tool to help increase awareness and address underlying emotional challenges that impact behavior. In addition, it can help increase the positive behaviors that already exist in the relationship so you and your partner can have a successful and happy relationship.